As our guide rattles through his geology lesson (a dizzying cocktail of English, Russian, bad jokes and subtle-as-a-breeze-block chat-up lines) I realise I’ve found it... the perfect place for a sunburnt, slightly hungover holidaymaker to escape the relentless heat.
With our hire car’s thermometer creeping closer and closer to 40C, we’d clambered down countless iron steps deep into the spectacular Baredine Caves near Porec innorth-west Croatia.
The temperature fell with every step and after pausing to check out a frog the size of my fist and marvel at the stalactites, stalagmites and “statues” of rock – a decade per millimetre in the making – we were 60m down enjoying the finest air conditioning nature has to offer.
Our legwork was rewarded, and not only with our guide’s repartee, the spectacular geology and an escape from the searing temperatures. My daughter Emily, seven, wife Rebecca and I were also mesmerised by the blind albino salamanders who make this underground wonderland their home. They are so rare they’re only found in this particular corner of Europe. Entry is about £6 for adults, £3.50 for under-13s.
The caves are just a few miles from my family’s base for the fortnight, a well-equipped Eurocamp mobile home at Camping Lanterna on a beautiful stretch of the Istrian coast.
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